to our home. I haven't posted about this on facebook, mainly because I'm not sure that my mom wants me to share. But this experience is going to impact my life and the lives of those I care for in so many ways and the best way for me to feel better and find a little less anxiety about things is to share. So here goes.
My mom has breast cancer.
She got an unofficial diagnosis on January 23rd when she went in for an ultrasound and consultation about a fibroid she had in her breast. At this appointment, the tech took one look at the lump and called the doctor in to see. They told her then that there was an over 95% chance that the lump was cancerous and that it had likely spread to her lymph nodes, since they looked so poor on the ultrasound. We spent the next few days in a panic and my mom had a biopsy. The biopsy came back positive on the breast and negative on the lymph, which was the best news we could have hoped for at that point.
We saw a surgeon and we have three or four appointments lined up next week with oncologists and another appointment with the surgeon to talk plan and then we also have an appointment to talk with another surgeon to get a second opinion. My mom had a MRI done a few days ago and she's got to go in for another biopsy on her other breast and have a thyroid ultrasound done as well.
I think emotional roller coaster doesn't even touch this. You go from being terrified to being relieved that it hasn't spread, to scared again because she'll likely be facing radiation and chemotherapy and sandwich all of that into living a life with two little ones who are bursting with life and joy.
Sometimes I wish I had a sibling to help me in dealing with my mom in this. I wish I had someone who knew her like I do. But it's just me and my amazing family and friends here to support us while we all battle this.
I've been wondering how to talk to Delaney about cancer and how Nana will be sick.
I've been wondering how we all do all of this.
I think it's going to be a big change for our family. Already I'm missing days from work to be at necessary appointments with her and help her to take in all the information.
In other fun news, Dash just turned 18 months and he's just growing by leaps and bounds. He's learned a lot of new words in the last week or two and he's really starting to show more personality. I've learned that he's empathetic and that he cares for his sister. He hates it when she is upset. I've learned that he's a lover and just really wants to snuggle most days. He loves being outside, especially on a cool, sunny day. He thinks that everything his sister does is completely cool and the next best thing for him to be doing.
Delaney's cracking us up, as usual. She has a new phrase: "if I want to" or "if you want to", as in: "Mama, if you want to, you can put me bed" or "If I want to, I can have a tic-tac". She also uses the words "otherwise" and "actually" fairly appropriately. She said "I have to put this bandaid on; otherwise I will get hurt" and she likes to say "papa. No. Actually Mama" when you ask who is putting her to bed.
More later I'm sure. It feels good to find a place to ramble.
3 comments:
Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry you're facing this. I'll be hoping for the best. Call me if you ever need to talk. You know I'm always here.
We are thinking of your family and have you in our prayers. Your a great mama and it sounds like your mom raised a great daughter who will be helping her through all this! The kids sound like a blast these days :-)
Sarah, you were such a good friend to me when my mom went through this twice. Please let me know what I can do to help! I love you much and I will be thinking about you both.
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